UGLY PEOPLE MAD LIB-ERALS!
Hey kiddies, are you ready to play another thrilling round of Mad Lib-erals? Don’t be nervous. It’s easy. All you do is take a sentence and put your choice of zany words into the blanks to make it silly, silly, silly! It goes like this:
Earlier this week Daniel S. ______ (Hamermesh, pickleflesh, hagfish) asserted in the New York _____ (cramps, Times, schnauzer) that it was about time to enact Affirmative Action ______ (legislation, constipation, fibrillation) for ugly people. Such a _____ (sebaceous cyst, enema, law) would most certainly benefit all ______ (ugly, Democrat, Liberal) people by ensuring them an advantage in the world of ______ (face transplants, business, snake milking). Opponents of such legislation claim that (pick 2)______ (Joy Behar, Rosie O’Donnell, Iggy Pop) have already risen to the _____ (fibula, top, mental ward) of the entertainment world despite their ______ (vacuousness, ugliness, lobotomies). The strongest evidence that ______ (schnauzers, sphincter cams, Affirmative Action) is unnecessary for _____ (ugly, stupid, evil) people is the success of ______ (sea cucumbers, politicians, invertebrates) like Henry Waxman and Debbie Wasserman Schultz who have _____ (fornicated, infected, overcome) the social ______ (barriers, insects, diseases) their ______ (intellectual, moral, appearance) disabilities present. Capish? Do you get it? Or are you just too stupid and ugly to play Mad Lib-erals? Heck no! You’re all geniuses. Let’s get ready and play! Much _____ (dandruff, speculation, toilet water) has swirled around a possible ______ (replacement, schnauzer, egg salad) running mate for ______ (sphincter cam, hairball, President) Obama. It appears that Joe _____ (pig pen, phlegm, Biden) has fallen out of _____ (favor, the window, his fly) with the White House due to his many ______ (hip replacements, hemorrhoids, gaffes). The straw that broke the camel’s ______ (back, colostomy, hump monkey) was when Joe _____ (bicycle, biped, Biden) welcomed Gabby Giffords into the “Cracked ______ (butt, head, tooth) Club”. Vice ______ (pole dancer, bed rubber, President) Biden has also been ______ (catheterized, criticized, neutered) for his regular use of the “f” ______ (sandwich, word, toaster). President _______ (poopy pants’, Obama’s, Fozzie Bear’s) possible running ______ (shoes, mates, noses) for 2012 include; John ______ (Huntsman, hump monkey, pencilneck), the former ______ (rug hooker, Governor, pole dancer) of Utah, Sheila Jackson ______ (flap bags, Lee, brainless wonder), U.S. ______ (nut steamer, butt itcher, Representative) from Texas, and Barney ______ (Frank, yank, spank), Representative from the ______ (bath house, opium den, state) of Massachusetts. It has been suggested that the President enact his Affirmative Action ______ (plan, spam, phlegm) for ______ (nauseating, ugly, Liberal) people and choose Barbara Streisand as his Vice ______ (squad, nose, President). In lighter news, ______ (sphincter, winker, Speaker) of the House, John _____ (Boehner, pointer, Big Bopper) rejected the President’s plan to _____ (strip, streak, speak) in front of a joint _____ (session, massage, cooking show) of Congress on the same night as the Republican Presidential _____ (roller skate, playmate, debate). President ______ (dingy diaper, cockapoo, Obama) quickly changes his ______ (pants, plans, sexual identity) and said he would ______ (speak, barbeque, dance the mashed potato) instead the next day. Many Americans are _____ (sweaty, annoyed, freckled) that the President will _____ (interrupt, man handle, spray paint) the NFL pre-game _____ (mosh pit, concert, traffic jam) for his _____ (baton, gun to the head, speech) to the nation. The president insists that he is just doing his best to ______ (screw, fix, castrate) the country.
Congratulations! You’ve made it through an entire 3 minutes of knee-slapping political incorrectness. Please ______ (tickle, gusset, join) me next week when we play another ______ (bodacious, excruciating, unbearable) game of Mad Lib-erals!