Capitalist @ ConservativeShir

Please, put the mask back on, Phantom.

September 4, 2011

Hey kiddies, are you ready to play another thrilling round of Mad Lib-erals? Don’t be nervous. It’s easy. All you do is take a sentence and put your choice of zany words into the blanks to make it silly, silly, silly! It goes like this:

Earlier this week Daniel S. ______ (Hamermesh, pickleflesh, hagfish) asserted in the New York _____ (cramps, Times, schnauzer) that it was about time to enact Affirmative Action ______ (legislation, constipation, fibrillation) for ugly people. Such a _____ (sebaceous cyst, enema, law) would most certainly benefit all ______ (ugly, Democrat, Liberal) people by ensuring them an advantage in the world of ______ (face transplants, business, snake milking). Opponents of such legislation claim that (pick 2)______ (Joy Behar, Rosie O’Donnell, Iggy Pop) have already risen to the _____ (fibula, top, mental ward) of the entertainment world despite their ______ (vacuousness, ugliness, lobotomies).  The strongest evidence that ______ (schnauzers, sphincter cams, Affirmative Action) is unnecessary for _____ (ugly, stupid, evil) people is the success of ______ (sea cucumbers, politicians, invertebrates) like Henry Waxman and Debbie Wasserman Schultz who have _____ (fornicated, infected, overcome) the social ______ (barriers, insects, diseases) their ______ (intellectual, moral, appearance) disabilities present. Capish? Do you get it? Or are you just too stupid and ugly to play Mad Lib-erals? Heck no! You’re all geniuses. Let’s get ready and play! Much _____ (dandruff, speculation, toilet water) has swirled around a possible ______ (replacement, schnauzer, egg salad) running mate for ______ (sphincter cam, hairball, President) Obama. It appears that Joe _____ (pig pen, phlegm, Biden) has fallen out of _____ (favor, the window, his fly) with the White House due to his many ______ (hip replacements, hemorrhoids, gaffes).  The straw that broke the camel’s ______ (back, colostomy, hump monkey) was when Joe _____ (bicycle, biped, Biden) welcomed Gabby Giffords into the “Cracked ______ (butt, head, tooth) Club”. Vice ______ (pole dancer, bed rubber, President) Biden has also been ______ (catheterized, criticized, neutered) for his regular use of the “f” ______ (sandwich, word, toaster).  President _______ (poopy pants’, Obama’s, Fozzie Bear’s) possible running ______ (shoes, mates, noses) for 2012 include; John ______ (Huntsman, hump monkey, pencilneck), the former ______ (rug hooker, Governor, pole dancer) of Utah, Sheila Jackson  ______ (flap bags, Lee, brainless wonder), U.S. ______ (nut steamer, butt itcher, Representative) from Texas, and Barney ______ (Frank, yank, spank), Representative from the ______ (bath house, opium den, state) of Massachusetts.  It has been suggested that the President enact his Affirmative Action ______ (plan, spam, phlegm) for ______ (nauseating, ugly, Liberal) people and choose Barbara Streisand as his Vice ______ (squad, nose, President). In lighter news, ______ (sphincter, winker, Speaker) of the House, John _____ (Boehner, pointer, Big Bopper) rejected the President’s plan to _____ (strip, streak, speak) in front of a joint _____ (session, massage, cooking show) of Congress on the same night as the Republican Presidential _____ (roller skate, playmate, debate). President ______ (dingy diaper, cockapoo, Obama) quickly changes his ______ (pants, plans, sexual identity) and said he would ______ (speak, barbeque, dance the mashed potato) instead the next day.  Many Americans are _____ (sweaty, annoyed, freckled) that the President will _____ (interrupt, man handle, spray paint) the NFL pre-game _____ (mosh pit, concert, traffic jam) for his _____ (baton, gun to the head, speech) to the nation. The president insists that he is just doing his best to ______ (screw, fix, castrate) the country.

Congratulations! You’ve made it through an entire 3 minutes of knee-slapping political incorrectness. Please ______ (tickle, gusset, join) me next week when we play another ______ (bodacious, excruciating, unbearable) game of Mad Lib-erals!

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  1. Sandra

    Phantom is right! *shudder* lol!


    I have been saying all week that this ugly affirmative action ‘idea’ is a preemptive move by the left in the even Hilary Clinton runs against Sarah Palin. After all, it is not fair to Hillary Clinton. Or Bill Clinton for that mater. Since he does not have a snowballs chance in Hades scoring with Sarah Palin.

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