“Oh, don’t get me started. I love Obama. I could go on all night about how much I love Obama. He’s worked so hard for the people. He’s such a smart man, workin’ so hard. He’s the ONLY president who never got a vacation.”

October 11, 2012

You will never obtain your full “grassroots” credentials until you have worked in a call center.  In my own little town we have the American’s for Prosperity office and the GOP headquarters. Since May these call centers have been beehives of activity, abuzz with the political chatter of the day. They are run by volunteers, real-life activists, taking time from their real-life jobs and families, making real-life calls to people in Colorado, taking the political pulse of the election cycle of 2012. The following are responses from a variety of people to the question. “Do you think Obama’s policies have helped or hurt the economy?”

  • Man from Western Colorado: “I just wish you would stop hounding this guy. He’s doing his best. The Republicans block everything he does. If they would just get out of the way, he would be the best president we’ve ever had.”
Are you choking yet? As for me, I’ve learned how to stifle hysterical laughter until after I hang up the phone.
Depending on the day and the call center, the questions vary. The following are actual answers to the question, “Can Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan count your support this November?”
  • Man from undisclosed location: “I’m not supporting nobody. I’m sick of having to vote for the lesser of two evils. I’m just gettin’ my  guns and my generator ready because I know it’s all goin’ t’ hell and there’s nothin’ we can do. I’m not tellin’ you where I live, but by God, it’s away from all this bull**** where nobody can find me and my family.”
  • Man from Western Colorado: “None of ’em are any good. I don’t know who I’m gonna vote for. You know who the last good president was? Eisenhower! That was the last good president we had, Eisenhower!”
Eisenhower? Do you think there may be a cottage industry just waiting to be exploited in “I LIKE IKE 2012” campaign materials?

My personal favorite–and it was personal:
  • Woman from Denver: “What do you care about the economy? You a rich, white Republican. You don’t care nothin’ about helpin’ poor people. I bet you never had to work a day in your life. Barack–he comes from a poor family. He know’s what it means to be poor. That’s why he’s helping the poor people in this economy that George Bush destroyed!”
(White, yes. Republican, yes. Rich? Not so much.)
Less colorful but equally absurd replies to generic conservative inquiries consist of, but are not limited to, the following:
  • “Obama has helped the economy. I work for the government and I’m better off than ever.” (probably true)
  • “Obamacare is good. I’m gonna get better care when I get sick and it’s gonna be free.”
  • “You people would oppose Obama no matter what, you just don’t want somebody different than you in power!”
  • “I wouldn’t vote for a g**d*** Mormon no matter what!”
  • “That Mitt Romney, he belongs to that cult. How the hell can anybody vote for him?”
  • “Obama just needs a chance to prove himself.”
  • “He’s a good family man. Just leave Obama alone.”
  • “Obama’s takin’ care of the poor people. You Republicans–you hate poor people.”
The thing that keeps me coming back to the call center is a certain older gentleman who will remain unidentified. He is at an age where he simply doesn’t care what opinion people may have of him, or whether or not he offends. Though the other callers try to rein him in, like an M-80, sometimes he goes off before you can camp his fuse. The following are quotes from my all-time favorite call center volunteer:
  • “Damn, you liberals are stupid.”
  • “Did you know that the Queen has corgis? I like those corgis, they’re nice dogs.”
  • “I almost had kidney failure once.”
  • “If you still support Obama, you must be an idiot.”
And my favorite quote of all from the unnamed call center volunteer: (drum roll)
  • “Why are you such a turd?”
Please go to the comments section and share your True Stories from the Call Center. I will happily post the best anecdotes. Don’t make up crap. You shouldn’t have to make up a doggone thing in this season of the absurd. I still can’t believe we have a friggn’ commie in the White House.
by Marjorie Haun  10/11/12

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  1. I every time used to study article in news papers but now as I am a user of internet therefore from now I am using net for articles, thanks to web.

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