#TopTen Zombie New Year’s Resolutions: 2014

December 31, 2013

What kind of self-improvement plan does the Zombie in your life have for 2014?


10. Join Brain Eaters Anonymous

9. See Physical Therapist about the stiffness in my extremities

8. Renew passport in order to travel to Haiti for 2014 World Zombie Jamboree

7. See Dermatologist about persistent skin condition

6. Change political affiliation from Zombie to Democrat (no real difference, but it’s easier to vote in primaries)

5. Buy Rosetta Stone “Moan, Wail and Groan in Japanese” edition to expand my communication abilities

4. Sign up for Dale Carnegie courses to learn better social skills

3. ALWAYS wear bullet-proof helmet while prowling for potentially armed victims

2. Hire personal trainer to improve my tendency to stumble and bump into crap

1. Take night class at college, “Cooking with Liberal Brains: How to Make More with Less”

 by Marjorie Haun  12/31/13

  1. I’ll take #4, Marjorie, it might help my public persona. 🙂

    Happy New Year, my friend.

  2. During the Winter of 95′ I took a week long jaunt to London. Best vacation ever. Because it was colder than week old crap, I was force to buy a heavy wool traeoh-ccnt. BEST INVESTMENT EVER!!!! I still wear that coat to this day. I loved London when it was brisk. Brought more people into the pubs so I could win more Guinness playing darts and Cribbage. I bought 2 beers that whole week but drank many Londoners under the table MTV (R)

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