The True Story of Capitalist Pigs

May 13, 2014

Charlie Gonzales is one of’s most popular accidental bloggers. He has written about Atheism, and now tackles one of the most persistent mysteries of literary history: Do little pigs really go to market?


Understanding the Rhyme “This Little Piggy”

March 1, 2014 at 2:29pm

 Understanding the Rhyme “This Little Piggy”  

So we’ve all recited the rhyme, This Little Piggy.

You know the one; “this little Piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home”.
Well a friend of mine asked the question, “Why didn’t piggy four get any roast beef?
A good question, I’m surprised that in all these years I never stopped to ponder this mystery. Why was piggy four roast beef free? And what drove the other piggies to do the things that they did as well?
So after some deep contemplation and some observation of the world around us In a moment of divine inspiration I could see beyond the picture presented to me and see what went on behind the scenes of this fascinating story. I finally knew why piggy four didn’t get any roast beef and why piggy two stayed home. And why piggy five was so happy.
Here is that story:
You see, piggies one and three are a hard working married couple who pull together to provided for their home and family. Piggy one, the wife, went shopping as her husband, piggy three, was at work running his own business keeping his employees productive and providing jobs for other piggies in his community.
At the end of the day, piggy three would take the hard earned profits of his business and would use them to reward himself and his family with special treats such as the roast beef his wife bought at the store.
Piggies two and four were Socialists; an unmarried drug addicted couple with children out of wedlock who felt that even though they didn’t want jobs, they were entitled to the things they didn’t work for. Such as the wealth that piggy three was creating in his local community and some of that delicious roast beef.
So piggies two and four tried to organize their community to pass new laws creating programs that would take some of the hard earned wealth that Piggies like one and three had, and force them to give that wealth to piggies like two and four through government social programs.  They felt that since piggies one and three had so much that it should be re-distributed so they could get  their fair share of the wealth and  dine on the fine roast beef like piggy three.
But piggies, being much smarter than humans and not nearly as filthy, rejected the ideologies of piggies two and four and stood against them, all unified in the ideas of freedom, capitalism and constitutional law. By rejecting these self destructive ideologies the entire community of piggies continued to grow and prosper as their success raised the living and education standards of everyone who was willing to be responsible and participate as a productive member of society.
Piggy five is the child of Piggies one and three who is excitedly running home to tell his parents that today he got his first job and is now on his way to someday providing a home and roast beef for his family, just like his dad.
Wee, Wee, Wee! Posted with permission of the author by  5/13/14

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