Harry Reid has stood in the bread line and asked for toast. He painted several signs that say, “Will Obstruct for food.”
Get on your knees and become my chair. I’m the ruler of the earth, I am creation’s heir! I am master of all that I see! The chaise lounge, the silk plants, the flat screen TV!
We have way too many states. It took another complete post to finish my edition of “The Untidy States of America.” As I delved into the current events, politics, social trends, and general unpleasantness that saturates the fruited plain, it became apparent that our states are even more messy than I had assumed.
Hey kiddies, have you played the entertaining and gut-busting game of Mad Lib-erals? Here’s how it works: You take a sentence and put your choices of silly words into the blanks to make it so funny that you will want to puke. For example:
This week a ______ (screener, cake decorator, dog walker) for the TSA was caught _____ (pleasuring, gesticulating, masticating) himself as he viewed full-body ______ (scans, crab cakes, pantyhose) of _____ ( female, Canadian, Van Halen fan ) passengers. There has been widespread public______ (outrage, souvlaki, ping pong) over this story.
Hillary Clinton, the ________ (wife, horse, sumo wrestler) of the former _________(pig farmer, gynecologist, entomologist) of the United States, is now the Secretary of _________(cigars, rubber gloves, State). She is a _________(snappy, polyester, Walmart) dresser and looks quite sharp in a _________(pressure, swimming, pant) suit.