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MY IRRITATING DAUGHTER


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March 7, 2011

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We don’t see eye to eye, my daughter and me, but I love her very much. She has flown the coop, freed herself from the sheltering wings of her hen mother, and gone off to college. She is a biology student, on full scholarship, in a really nice school.  I’m awfully proud of her, but…we don’t see eye to eye.  She stalks the commentary section of ReaganGirl’s Blog and splatters it with dissent, challenges to my logic and factual assertions, and the occasional (more frequent than not) insult. I am rightish, she is leftish. I am red state Colorado and she is blue.  She is first of science.  And I am first of faith, then logic, then science.  She avoids high-fat, high-sodium foods and I embrace them with a greasy hug.

In response to Angry White Woman she wrote:

If you’re really so anti-reasonable sodum levels, just use your good old ‘merican power of choice and dump more salt on everything you eat. Easy. And lard and sugar and high fructose corn syrup. That’s sticking it to the nanny state! (but more so sticking to soon-to-be jiggly thighs)
As a unique snowflake of an American I too have unique dietary needs, and have recently discovered I am not crystal meth senstive; hence, I want more meth. And the first lady better not get all up in my bizznass. FREEDOM!
(you probably think this is a silly, unreasonable example to the points in this blog. This is to point out that you compared making foods healthier to a nurse murdering a patient. I shouldn’t need to spell this one out any further)
Don’t brush your teeth either. Michelle Obama prob. encourages that too. What a commie godless piece of power-hungry trash. This is ‘merica. I’ll let my teeth rot and if them darn atheist Nazi diversity-lovin hippies try to make my kid see the dentist (pencilneck liberal who went to school and stuff, that dentist), I’mma git me my sign and yell ’round the park at them commie passersby too consumed in their skinny Starbucks lattes to see what ‘merica is disintigratin to.
(I feel you need something real to complain about. You can complain about your irritating daughter instead. I’ve been trying to get you to write a post about me for ages. :) )”

Yes, she reveals herself in rude stereotypes. Yes, she uses the hackneyed argument that if your are rightish you are inbred, racist, “ignernt”, and believe everybody is a “commie”. Interesting…she is way too young to have ever watched “All in the Family” or to know about Archie Bunker.  Maybe she got those stereotypes from the indoctrination by her commie-pinko professors. And “unique snowflake” is an oxymoron, but I think she said that just to perplex me.

She also uses a rhetorical fallacy in her comparison of Michelle Obama’s decrees regarding all things health-related to purposefully neglecting one’s dental health.  Health, on all levels, is about personal choices.  My opposition to Michelle Obama’s effort to control what I take into my tripes is not equivalent to personal foolishness.  I will wisely take care of my teeth whether or not Michelle Obama is Tzarina, I mean First Lady.  The proportional problem with my irritating daughter’s logical hiccup is that Michelle Obama’s Utopian nanny-state ultimately sabotages the ability of the individual, who has become dependent on governmental guidelines and edicts, to brush her own teeth, monitor her own health, or keep her own thighs from becoming jiggly.

(Okay sweetie, you got your answer. I can’t wait to hear your response) We don’t see eye to eye, but I love her very much.

In response to my criticism of Liam Neeson’s ambivalence about the true character of Aslan, whom he portrayed in the Narnia movies, which can be found in A Visit from Aslan, she wrote:

“So, it’s okay to compare a kitty to Jesus, but not Jesus to Buddah? Strange. You can’t rag on Liam Neeson without seeming…silly.”

The ensuing commentary followed thus:

ReaganGirl: I could compare Liam Neeson to a knish…

Irritating Daughter: Address the question at hand. Why is it okay to compare Jesus to an animal, but not to another peaceful religious leader?

RG: Would Buddah consider himself a religious figure?

ID: Probably not. Which is a compliment to him. But they were both preachers of peace and sought the end of suffering. Only the followers of one made a big, scary dogmatic church out of those teachings…the followers of the other did not. Oh and congrats on avoiding the question again. You’re worse than a politician. I ask again, and answer directly – why is it okay to compare an animal to Jesus, but not the Buddah to Jesus? Would a feline consider itself a religious leader, to use your tactic?

RG: I always wanted to be a politician. Guess what you’re getting for Christmas? Happy, joyful, chocolate cupcakes. Oh, and show me where Mohammed preached peace. References please.

ID: There’s a reason I didn’t say Muhammad. Islam, Christianity (not Christ himself) and Judaism all have violent, hateful histories. I said BUDDAH. ANSWER THE QUESTION DIRECTLY: WHY IS IT OKAY TO COMPARE AN ANIMAL TO JESUS BUT NOT THE BUDDAH?

I’m not letting you weasel out of this one…

RG: The Buddah is like a moth: unassuming, without the outward trappings of a butterfly, but to see his spirit is to see a beautiful creature with a peaceful countenance and furry, fuzzy anteanne. How’d I do?

ID: You don’t answer because you cannot, I assume. Way to rape logic in the butt.

RG:When their eloquence escapes you, Their logic ties you up and rapes you”
You stole that from The Police, girlie. We’ll talk when I have some face time with you, beautiful daughter.

Yes I weaseled.  But what fun I had evading my irritating daughter’s incisive line of inquiry.  The conversations over family dinners are not unlike the previous back-and-forth.  We are like vinegar and oil.  We don’t mix without a lot of agitation.  And though we are separate much of the time in opinions, ideals, and goals, together we add a lot of flavor and interest to our family life.

My irritating daughter is also hard-working, inquisitive, beautiful, creative, talented, and very bright.  So I don’t allow the irritations of her challenges to my political and theological positions to eclipse my love for her.  It is an artful thing to be a part of a family in which each and every member is scrappy, single minded, unflappable, and stubborn.

I am a friend to the Constitution of the United States and its original intent.  I am a Conservative political activist and a Tea Party Patriot.  I try to change hearts and minds through this blog and the magic of the internet.  For me, these activities transcend hobby status.  I want, more than anything, to secure a future for my children, and grandchildren, in which they can enjoy the blessings of a free America.  I want them to know and devote themselves to lasting truths and to base their opinions and judgments on the most choice knowledge and wisdom.  It is for them that I put in the efforts I believe will help to pull America and her Constitution back from the brink of a socialist abyss.  So listen up Irritating Daughter.  I do what I do for you.  Even though you may find my efforts trite or tiresome, I do what I do because I love you.  Now, what irritating comments will you post next? I’ll be waiting.


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  1. Detra

    My oldest daughter and I didn’t see eye to eye a lot of the time, when she was growing up. Not quite like you and your “irritating daughter”, more a fighting for her independence. Funny thing now that she is 29 and a parent. I call her and she gives me wonderful advice. You are wise to not let your differences eclipse your love and relationship. Believe me, in time you two will see eye to eye (something she might find harder to believe then you do! )
    You’re a great mom. 🙂

  2. Rachael Haun, Marj's Greatest Achievement

    lolololol. You see, all those arguements you say I argue with logical fallacies?
    I won them. And this post is proof.
    I am a winner. I am going to celebrate with lots of booze and penises and bible-burning.

    Also, I am the cutest mousie-poo eva!!!

  3. Rachael Haun, Marj's Greatest Achievement

    also, I love you with the spazzishly pumping smooth muscle organ which resides in my chest.

  4. Morgan

    Aw, this was adorable. That is all. 🙂

    Mother-daughter love makes me go “awwwwww.”

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