Military Slang for Dummies Book One: FNGs

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May 29, 2013

Okay all you FNGs. You’ll hear this once and only once, and you better not *&%$#@ forget what I tell you here you little sissy-Marys. This is an introduction to Military Slang. You soft little pansies coming out of your little suburban prep-schools, driving your #$@%& electric cars think that because you can play lacrosse that makes you good enough to be called a soldier. Well, you’re wrong you little pukes. You’re weak, pale momma’s boys, and if you’re ever gonna grow hair on your b***s and learn the difference between a rifle and a gun, you better pay attention to every *&$@# word I say, you worthless maggots. You get once chance to learn a few of the terms that real soldiers consider sacred. Now stop standing around like a bunch of yard birds, sit your sorry a**es down and suck this up before I beat your face. What the h*** are you looking at you little blue heads?


Barracks—> home away from home

Barracks Rat—>soldier with no social life

Boot Camp—>basic training

Bunk, Rack—> where you sleep

BB Stackers—>ordnance keepers

BCGs,  Birth Control Glasses—>U.S. government issue eyeglasses

BOHICA—>bend over, here it comes again

Bug Juice—>Kool Ade or a similar fruit drink

Cannon Cockers, Gun Bunnies—>artillery specialists

Chairborne Rangers—>military administrators

C-rats, T-rats—>the best food you will ever hate

Dee Dee Mau—>run fast away from area of operations

Dirt Darts—> airborne soldiers

DIW—>dead in the water

Fart Sack —>Sleeping bag

Fourth Point of Contact—>buttocks

FUBAR—>effed up beyond all repair. From the Yiddish for, “Dude, that’s messed up.”

GI Party—>thorough cleaning of quarters

Gone Elvis—>missing in action

Grunts, Ground Pounders —>Infantry

Head—> toilet


Jar Heads, Leathernecks—>Marines

Joe—>male soldier

Latrine Queen—>one who cleans the Head

Leather Personnel Carriers—>combat boots

Leg—>non-airborne troop

Maggot—>any recruit

Mess —>food

Mess Hall—>anywhere food is eaten

Molly—>female soldier

Mountain Money—>toilet paper

MRE, Meal Ready to Eat—>packaged food with no expiration date

Pings, FNGs—>new recruits

Police Call—>organized trash pick up

Rock ‘n’ Roll—>rifles on fully automatic

SNAFU—>situation normal, all ‘fouled’ up

Snake Eaters —>Special Forces

Sparky—>Electronics Specialist

Squid—>United States Navy sailor

Water Buffalo—>water tanker

Wire Dogs—>signal soldiers

Z Monster—>the irresistible urge to doze off

Okay, you skylarking pieces of FOD! On your feet! You will be tested on your retention of these sacred terms. You will not fail. Do you understand? Do you hear me Lima Charley? I didn’t hear you! Now, when I tell you FNGs to go after a box of grid squares you will do as I say. The same goes for high angle primers. When I tell you to retrieve a T.R. double E. double time, you will not fail. Now get the h*** out of here you maggots.

by Marjorie Haun 5/29/13

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