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September 13, 2012

My years spent scouring the inner nooks of the human psyche have at last expectorated the universal translator of Liberalspeak.  Now we can finally come to an understanding of what the heck Liberal drivers are really telling us with their skanky, stupid, gnarley, inane bumper stickers. Sit back and enjoy Liberal Bumper Stickers Decoded!

Translation: “I have never been to church. I have never read the Bible. And I’m an Atheist most of the time unless I’m trying to guilt Christians into voting for the welfare state.”

Translation:”I aborted most of my kids but the one who made it out alive will be used as a prop to make me look like I know more than you do about what’s good for children.”



Translation: “Christians and Jews must submit themselves to the desires and beliefs of obscure world pseudo-religions who don’t give a crap about freedom of religion or “coexisting” with anyone else.”

Translation: “I’m an arrogant ass whose knowledge base came from doped-up commie pinko professors during late-night drunken binges at hipster coffee shops.”

Translation: “I use electricity consuming halogen lamps for my pot plants. I drive a gas-guzzling 1983 Subaru. I keep my natural gas furnace at 85 degrees in the Winter time because I get the chills if I can’t have my munchies.”

Translation: “Suicide by government.”

Translation: “I am a lemming.”


Translation: “Those nasty Republicans always screw things up with freedom, responsibility, family values, respect for the law and all that messy stuff.”

Translation: "I don't want you to defend this imperialist, Capitalist swine country against the virtuous totalitarian dictators in the world."
Translation: “You have no right to defend this imperialist, Capitalist swine country against the virtuous totalitarian dictators in the world.”


Translation: “Damn, those liberal women are ugly.”


Translation: “I support government regulation of salt, soda pop, trans-fats, school lunches, and tobacco.”

Translation: “I support abortion but my conscience gets to me sometimes so I try to assuage my guilt by misplacing my compassion on random species because it’s fashionable.”



Translation: “We would prefer to kill those kids while they are still in the womb.”

Translation: “I can’t tolerate Christians, Israel, traditional marriage, America, the Military, the Founding Fathers, Republicans, stay-at-home moms, heterosexuals, God, or the Pledge of Allegiance.”

Translation: “You can slaughter Americans, murder unborn babies, assault Tea Party activists in wheelchairs and behead infidels, just don’t make Islamic terrorists feel uncomfortable because that’s cruel.”

Translation: “I’m the product of union-run public schools.”

Translation: “Freedom is hard. Let’s try tyranny for awhile.”

Translation: “My life sucks so I want everyone else to suffer.”


Translation: “I hate my children and grandchildren.”

Translation: “Once feminists got pissed off because women were just sex objects. Now we get pissed off when you expect us to be something other than sex objects.”

Translation: “I like to raise hell and wreck things because it gives me a sense of purpose because I’ve never had to work for anything and my parents taught me that my self-esteem is more important than anything.”

Translation: “I work for the Department of Homeland Security.”





  1. @ramoxetoch

    This is awesome! Honestly though, I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would NOT want to live in a free society. Why anyone would want to live under a tyranical government that wants to control everything they do, think, say, etc., is beyond me. So many have sacrificed so much for the freedoms this country was founded on, and to have these whiney, “I’m entitled to free stuff”, pro-death, liberal ass wipes piss on those sacrifices is an afront to the very meaning of being human. I salute you for this post, and love reading you’re stuff on twitter!

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