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 July 1, 2011

Typical Liberal Chick

Okay kiddies, this is how Mad Lib-erals works: You take a sentence and add your choice of certain words to make it silly. For Example:

Hillary Clinton, the ________ (wife, horse, sumo wrestler) of the former _________(pig farmer, gynecologist, hair dresser) of the United States, is now the Secretary of _________(cigars, rubber gloves, State).  She is a _________(snappy, polyester, Walmart) dresser and looks quite sharp in a _________(pressure, swimming, pant) suit.  ________(Pant, Zoot, Italian) suits help to cover Hillary’s ________(thick, elephantine, chicken)_________(ankles, beard, flapbags) and add a certain ________(stately, bag lady, gulag) quality to her _________(wardrobe, pole dancing, nose hairs).

There you have it.   Fill in the blanks and let’s get silly! (disclaimer below)

This Month in History

June 2011 is a ______ (month, steak knife, larva) that will go down in _______(history, coi pond, MSNBC) as a ______(bi-polar, momentous, pre-menstral) time.  First, Congressman ______(Democrat, pencilneck, goldenrod) Anthony _____(Weiner, weiner, weener) ______(tweeted, abused, erected) a picture of his private area to an innocent young ______(co-ed, septum ring, Jack Russell Terrier) in a Western City. Congressman ______(Tricky Dick, nosehair, Weiner) had to pull out of his _____(position, driveway, date) and ______(resigned, drank latte, shaved his legs) from office.

Next in the news was the ______(story, hyperbole, rhetorical fallacy) of how Conservative ______(blogger, inmate, octopus) Andrew Breitbart was ______ (moshed, dated, group-hugged) by a mob of ______(friendly, crazed, diaper-wearing) Leftists at the Netroots Nation ______(convention, primal scream therapy, drum circle) in Minneapolis.  Some of the Liberals were _____(agitated, naked, smelly) and yelled at Mr. Breitbart.  One______(woodland creature, Keith Olbermann, harpie) asked Mr. Breitbart if he dated ______(gay hookers, Jack Russell Terriers, Keith Olbermann).

Finally, on the very last day of June, a ______(reporter, illegal alien, Jack Russell Terrier) named Mark ______(Halperin, aspirin, shin-splint) called President ______( Mugatu, Weiner, Dick) a ______(mugatu, weiner, dick).  His ______(journalistic, commie-pinko, naked) colleagues were not ______(happy, erect, waxed) and wanted him to apologize for his ______(gaffe, honesty, bulge).  Like a good _____(Liberal, amoeba, Jack Russell Terrier) he apologized and now he is again a good ______(invertebrate, lap-dog, Borg) member of the media.

So, there you have it. The ______(month, butt-shorts, suppository) in review.  I hope you will ______(join, punish, massage) me next time when we ______(play, guillotine, incarcerate) Mad Lib-erals!  Have a good ______(weekend, rash, Jack Russell Terrier)!

To the guys who invented the original “Mad-libs” game, you guys rock.  I’m a big fan.  You are inspiration to me.  Please don’t sue my arse.

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