Death Panel Mad Lib-erals

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March 2, 2013

Obamacare patients

Hey kids, it’s time to play another round of Mad Lib-erals. Have you ever done it before? Not to worry. It’s perfectly safe. Just put on your hazmat suit, slip a condom on a cucumber, and dive on in! All you have to do is fill in the blank with a silly word or phrase to unlock the deadbolt of happiness. For example:

Earlier this morning, a ______ (giddy, epileptic, wretched) Nancy Pelosi stopped by the Doctor’s ______ (golf cart, clinic, suicide note) on her way to Capitol ______ (Hill, morgue, colonic institute).  She just couldn’t control her ______ (hand flapping, tight grins, giggling) when she heard that her favorite ______ (goat cheese, legislation, heat rash), Obamacare, had survived the rigorous ______ (scrutiny, screw you, screw everybody) of the ______ (scrotum, SCOTUS, Screwtape Letters).  The Doctor gave her a prescription for a ______ (pit bull mauling, unfortunate propeller accident, anti-spastic) medication and sent her on her ______ (way, chili cheese fries, sphincter). Senator Harry ______ (Satan, Reid, fleabag) did not fare so well.  He was reportedly so full of ______ (chortles, guffaws, sniggers) that he hugged a complete ______ (pancake mix, Jack Russell Terrier, stranger) who beat the living ______ (dead, crap, will) out of him. Reid remains in ______ (witless, imbecilic, malodorous) condition at a D.C. ______ (hospital, truss, body bag.)

Any questions? Heck no, because you’re a frickin’ genius who can do no wrong. Well then, little Mr. Hubris, lets DOOOO EEEET! 

Earlier this week the country was ______ (T-boned, surprised, thrashed) when the ______ (SCOTUS, spleen, chicken outfit) informed the ______ (door mat, red-headed step child, state) of Arizona to go ______ (glue, moo, screw) itself.  The Arizona immigration ______ (pantyhose, law, backhoe) was struck down because it threatened to take ______ (ice cream, voters, guacamole) out of the hands of the Obama ______ (dance troupe, toenails, Administration). The 10th ______ (Amendment, hurricane, hernia operation) to the Constitution was also ______ (slapped down, thumped, walloped) by the ______ (hula dancers, SCOTUS, dipsomaniacs). Arizona ______ (she-woman, amazon queen, governor), Jan Brewer, vowed to ______ (mud wrestle, fight, wet willie) the Administration, saying, “Obama needs a good ______ (can, ass, horse) whipping. He can come on down to my ______ (state, iron maiden, jello mold) any day.” Obama declined the invitation saying he was ______ (golfing, vacationing, sucking blood) and didn’t have the ______ (time, balls, guts) to return to Arizona.

The ______ (cabbage, SCOTUS, Lynyrd Skynyrd) overturned the “Stolen Valor Act” which was passed in order to ______ (peel, boil, roast) people who pretend to be a ______ (veteran, war hero, honorable serviceman).  The ______ (turds, Liberals, pot belly pigs) on the High ______ (times, wire, Court) rejected “Stolen Valor.”  The ______ (roadkill, SCOTUS, flatus) as of late seems to have been hit with a bad case of ______ (stupid, head-up-your-butt, slimy invertebrate) disease.

In more cheerful news, the state of ______ (osso buccho, Colorado, Club Med) is on fire  and nearly half its ______ (pot shops, prosthesis fitters, cities) have been effected by ______ (constipation, forced evacuations, teen pregnancy).  In Colorado Springs, the local ______ (implant emporium, biker bar, Thai massage parlor) had to be evacuated when a ______ (Harry Reid, wildfire, colon polyp) threatened to ______ (burn, mud wrestle, lambada) it to the ground.  The Olympic Training ______ (meat market, steroid factory, facility) was forced to ______ (clean and jerk, close, dead lift) when refugees from ______ (Occupy Denver, Cuba, Greece) moved in and made ______ (babies, beds, whoopie) on its wrestling mats.  In the wake of  the devastating ______ (genital warts, fires, hallucinations), local law ______ (enforcement, enhancement, topical ointment) has given the okay to ______ (pink belly, applique, shoot) looters on sight. Word has it that the “shoot with extreme ______ (accuracy, prejudice, splattering)” rule will also apply to any out-of-town ______ (travelers, Democrats, Chief Justice Roberts) that are identified as ______ (athletic, Obamacare, hip hop) supporters.

So there you have it. Another ______ (carbonized, bloody, sado-masochistic) round of Mad Lib-erals! Aren’t you just so happy that you ______ (violated, joined, tub thumped) me on this wonderful day to ______ (celebrate, lubricate, expectorate) the legalization of ______ (jelly, Death, steamed rice) Panels and Obamacare? Let’s get ______ (together, jiggy, naked) next month when we play ______ (Armageddon, Nuclear Holocaust, Global Extermination) Mad Lib-erals for a light-hearted change of pace!

By Marjorie Haun 3/2/13

  1. Shawn Drumwright

    Polyps may be small and produce few, if any, symptoms. For this reason, doctors recommend regular screening tests to help prevent colon cancer by identifying polyps before they become colon cancer. :

    Very latest write-up from our very own internet page

  2. Lashawna Cira

    Heat rash is the generic group name for a number of skin problems that arise or worsen because of heat exposure or overheating. Although most commonly found in babies, it can still occur in all age groups. Common names for heat rash include prickly heat or miliaria. Other heat rashes include heat urticaria (hives) and sweat retention. :

    Consider our very own blog site as well

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