Colorado Transgender Birth Certificates: I’m Not Who You Think I Thought I Was

April 7, 2015

Blame it on Lola

Colorado Birth Certificate_Fotor

A pack of Colorado Democrat Legislators has introduced a bill that says that if a person decides that they are not who they are, that they can be what they think they are despite the fact that what they are is different than who they say they are. Yep, this is the Colorado Transgender Birth Certificate Bill, House Bill 15-1265. Its preamble states:


Back in the good old days when boys were boys and boys could only be girls if they went under the knife, a transsexual person could present evidence that they had been surgically altered to appear as their preferred gender, and then go through the process to change the designated sex on their birth certificate with the order of a judge. In other words, Dick could be Jane on his/her birth certificate so long as Jane had no dick. But the Colorado Transgender Birth Certificate bill removes the burden from an individual of having to prove that they have taken steps to physically transition into the opposite sex. (I think there are still two sexes, but please correct me if I’m wrong.) All that gender-confused little Dickie needs to present to the court to become Jane is a written request–or a permission slip from his parents if Dickie is a minor–and an statement from a “licensed health care provider” stating that:

“the person has undergone surgical, hormonal, or other treatment appropriate for that person for the purpose of gender transition, based on contemporary medical standards, or stating that the person has an intersex condition, and that in the provider’s professional opinion the person’s gender designation should be changed accordingly.”

The language in this bill is so broad (no sexism intended) as to stagger the mind of a person who thinks in concrete terms. It says that surgical alternation is not at all necessary for Dick to claim he is really Jane. “Intersex” individuals are extremely rare. The word means “an individual having reproductive organs or external sexual characteristics of both male and female.” But the term “intersex” has been hijacked to denote a feeling that a person has characteristics of both a man and a woman, without the physical deformities specific to actual intersex, or hermaphrodite people. Additionally, the term “licensed health care provider” could mean a physician, a brain surgeon, an abortionist or a guy who spends his days writing prescriptions for medical marijuana. Any dupe or doctor with an agenda may write a statement saying that since Dick really, really, really wants to be Jane, that despite the fact that Dick has retained his dick, he can be Jane if he wants to.

Folks, wake up. Democrats Moreno, Esgar, Garnett, Ginal, Rosenthal, Ulibarri, Guzman and Steadman want to encode this bill into statute for the rest of eternity! Think about the public safety implications. Right now in Colorado there is controversy over “transgender” or unisex bathrooms–especially those where little girls and boys go to the restroom–because, for example, a man claiming to be a woman, but who has all the working parts of a man, can enter a restroom where little girls go pee pee, and there is nothing anyone can do about it without being charged with discrimination. Hang on to your butts, because the Colorado Transgender Birth Certificate bill takes this danger up a notch. Currently, if Dick enters a restroom where little girls go pee pee, and Dick says he’s Jane, the law can argue that because Dick has a dick, that he is not Jane and should not be in a restroom with Mary, Claudia and Prudence. However, HB15-1265 would give Dick a lot of ammunition for his defense because in court, Dick could pull out his birth certificate that says he IS Jane. “Ha!” Dick would exclaim, “you thought I was a boy in a girls restroom, but you’re wrong! I’m really a girl trapped in a boy’s body, going to a girl’s restroom, because my birth certificate says I’m a girl, and it would be wrong for me to go to a boy’s restroom.”

Societal chaos, altered realities, unicorn farts, and all manner of dissonant cognition seem to emanate from the Left side of the Colorado State Capitol. There is lots of blame to go around for this phenomenon, but I really think it all started with the Kinks stupid song, Lola. Apparently the Democrats adopted this vapid song, and made it the political platform of their party.

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine guy
But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man
And so is Lola
La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

by Marjorie Haun  4/7/15


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