Capitalist @ ConservativeShir

 November 14, 2011

Why are you scratching yourself if public?

Okay kiddies, lets don those Hazmat suits, strap on your respirators, take a bath in Clorox, and get ready to play Bio-Hazard Mad Lib-erals! Don’t be afraid. You won’t die if you follow these simple instructions. First you take a sentence, insert your choice of words into the blanks to make it silly, and then laugh until you cough up blood. For example:

The Occupy demonstrators first gathered to protest ______ (crony Capitalism, jock itch, soap companies), but now they have a new _____ (secretion, foe, hangnail). They are now battling ______ (Klingons, Jack Russell Terriers, illness) as their ranks become increasingly _____ (naked, diseased, fat and lazy). What are the poor ______ (occupiers, sebaceous cysts, anal polyps) to do as their ______ (armpits, tent cities, underwear) become cesspools of ______ (Marxism, infection, group sex)? The Centers for ______ (cruise, Disease, bladder) control have issued ______ (warnings, condoms, Heinz 57) to many of the ______ (lepers, amputees, occupiers) telling them that they may become ______ (stupid, Michael Moore, infected) if they continue to ______ (squat, play poker, rape and pillage) in their tent cities. As a precaution, anyone venturing near the Occupy ______ (sewers, tail gate parties, Whiskey a Go Go) should protect themselves by dressing in ______ (cellophane, fishnet stockings, Hazmat suits), and carrying a can of ______ (deodorant, Lysol Disinfectant, New England Clam Chowder).

Get it? Or is your puny brain too diseased to understand how to play this stupid game? Heck no, you’re a freakin’ genius. Now let’s play!

Reports were issued this week about unfortunate ______ (deaths, Democrats, Keith Olbermann) stalking the ______ (bowel, Occupy, tectonic) Movement.  Several deaths were attributed to ______ (romance novels, drug overdoses, jock itch), with at least two confirmed ______ (altar boys, birth certificates, murders). The Occupy ______ (brain stem, Movement, Chinese jump rope) has also been shocked by a series of ______ (assaults, The Office, root canals) and, even more horrifyingly, ______ (Al Gore  movies, rapes, Nancy Pelosi nudie pics). Occupy _______(Wall Street, my arse, Barney Frank’s basement) tried internal ______ (policing, gas, hypodermic needles) at first, but the ______ (rapes, poor hygiene, Kung Pow Chicken) continued unabated. Women finally took up ______ (smiley faces, picket signs, brass knuckles) and moved into separate ______ (diapers, thermoses, tents) where the ______ (rapists, Anthony Weiner, Al Gore) could not get to them.

Public Health  ______ (officials, Jack Russell Terriers, ball-point pens) are even more ______ (hypothermic, concerned, delirious) about a plague more dreadful even than ______ (crime, disease, Keith Olbermann); widespread infestations of head and body ______ (break dancing, tattoos, lice).  Sanitation workers have begun to clear Occupy Movement______ (ice rinks, barber shops, tent cities) using ______ (bulldozers, gladiator movies, nipple rings), and forcing the ______ (Lollipop Guild, protesters, Democrat National Committee) to find another ______ (bodily opening, hemp farm, venue) for their ______ (demonstrations, Nutcracker Ballet, romance novels). As the ______ (circus clowns, bulldozers, pole dancers) clear away the squalor of the Occupy _____ (financiers, urinals, tent cities), they have uncovered sickening mounds of ______ (rotten food, hypodermic needles, used condoms), and, most disturbing of all ______ (Michael Moore movies, human waste, Keith Olbermann). All Americans look forward to the day when the ______ (toilet brush, Occupy, nose hair) movement passes into ______ (history, gas, hyperspace) and cities across the ______ (street, bowling alley, country) can reclaim their once pleasant and green outdoor ______ (spaces, toilets, yoga pants).

On a lighter note, a South African ______ (meat, Italian Suit, tennis ball) company was exposed for selling ______ (Jack Russell Terriers, pork, Keith Olbermann) to Islamic countries. The meat company apparently relabeled ______ (Rosie O’Donnell, Rachel Maddow, pork products) from Ireland and the ______ (MSNBC studios, Democrat National Committee, Peoples Republic of Belgium) to look like ______ (Anthony Weiner, sheep hearts, Jabba the Hut). The ______ (pork hearts, Michael Moore’s sweat pants, Betty Davis eyes) were used as a sort of ______ (culinary, psychological, hip hop) terrorism against the ______ (bloodthirsty, unshaven, unsuspecting) Muslims who bought and ______ (blew up, beheaded, ate) the forbidden ______ (pork, Joy Behar, Cuban cigars). Muslims believe that if they eat ______ (Lindsay Lohan, Hershey’s Special Dark, pork) they will be consigned to _____ (Hell, Occupy Wall Street, MSNBC). It is uncertain whether or not the ______ (panty hose, romance novel, meat) company intentionally switched the sheep hearts for pork.  One theory is that the Muslims who ate the _____ (pork, used condoms, head lice) will automatically be condemned to ______ (C-SPAN, Hell, Barney Frank’s basement) without ever knowing what happened. My advice to those silly South African ______ (butt putty, meat, Green Bay) packers is, if you really want to ______ (pink belly, terrorize, cauterize) Muslims, instead of pork hearts, ship them ______ (tents, crates, port ‘o lets) full of ______ (Occupy protesters, MSNBC reporters, the Democrat National Committee). That will be a ______ (jock itch, brain freeze, punishment) worse than Hell for those ______ (Muslims, Chinese dry-cleaners, Jack Russell terriers)!

There you have it, another _____ (lewd, intoxicated, bestial) round of Mad Lib-erals! Please ______ ( join, yank, shiveree) me next week to_____ (guillotine, infest, lobotomize) another innocent minority group as we _____ (play, saute’, fornicate) Mad Lib-erals!

 By Marjorie Haun  11/13/2011



Hundreds of Toys & Games on Sale! Shop Now at

  1. Doug Skjolsvik @Sholzbee

    I can agree and love everything you’ve written, the only problem being liberals don’t take the time to read others views their too self infatuated with their own determental ideals they lose substance and fail to recognize the greater good for the whole. Let’s say if they did take the time to read , they wouldn’t understand. If it doesn’t say ME MY or I they just don’t _______ get it …

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Search ReaganGirl
Newest Posts
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
The Truth About Islam
Networked Blogs

Hi, guest!


WordPress SEO fine-tune by Meta SEO Pack from Poradnik Webmastera